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Forgiveness

18/7/2021

1 Comment

 
Genesis 25:24-34       (The Message)
24-26 When her time to give birth came, sure enough, there were twins in her womb. The first came out reddish, as if snugly wrapped in a hairy blanket; they named him Esau (Hairy). His brother followed, his fist clutched tight to Esau’s heel; they named him Jacob (Heel). Isaac was sixty years old when they were born.
27-28 The boys grew up. Esau became an expert hunter, an outdoorsman. Jacob was a quiet man preferring life indoors among the tents. Isaac loved Esau because he loved his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.
29-30 One day Jacob was cooking a stew. Esau came in from the field, starved. Esau said to Jacob, “Give me some of that red stew—I’m starved!” That’s how he came to be called Edom (Red).
31 Jacob said, “Make me a trade: my stew for your rights as the firstborn.”
32 Esau said, “I’m starving! What good is a birthright if I’m dead?”
33-34 Jacob said, “First, swear to me.” And he did it. On oath Esau traded away his rights as the firstborn. Jacob gave him bread and the stew of lentils. He ate and drank, got up and left. That’s how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn.
 
Genesis 33:1-11     (NIV)
 
1Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. 
2 He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. 
3 He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.
4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. 
5 Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked.
Jacob answered, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant.”
6 Then the female servants and their children approached and bowed down. 
7 Next, Leah and her children came and bowed down. Last of all came Joseph and Rachel, and they too bowed down.
8 Esau asked, “What’s the meaning of all these flocks and herds I met?”
“To find favour in your eyes, my lord,” he said.
9 But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.”
10 “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favour in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favourably. 
11 Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.
​
Picture
Reflection
 
I’ve been thinking been thinking about forgiveness lately – it’s one of those really big concepts that touches upon quite a few issues of just being human. Hurt, justice, punishment, law, scars, atonement, mercy, guilt, grace, trust, offence, pardon, reconciliation. It’s one of those things that we grapple with everyday and sometimes hardly notice and it’s one of those things that has impacted the life of every one of us in a lasting way.
 
But we hardly talk about it. – even in the  church. Confession has fallen out of favour and the Assurance of Pardon leaves many of us scratching our heads wondering what we did to need it but quite satisfied that our sins of omission and commission have been erased and we are once again set right with God.
 
And that is as it should be because God’s love, God’s grace accepts us just as we are. We’ve talked about grace a lot in the past weeks, it is a gift that is not contingent upon anything except acceptance. God’s grace is what allows us to open the Pandora’s box which is ourselves and peek in, it gives us a mirror in which to see ourselves and our actions reflected. It reveals our shadow selves allowing us a glimpse of our own darkness.
 
You can see why we want to avoid spoiling our Sunday mornings with such stuff! So why is it important- Because God accepts us just as we- God doesn’t just accept the good stuff- God loves us “just as we are”.
The whole shebang- everything: every thought, every action, every word – just as we are.
 
OK, here comes the but…where does forgiveness come in and all those words like: regret, atonement and reconciliation?
 
When I was reading the scripture passages for today we can clearly see that forgiveness comes in two parts: forgiving ourselves and forgiving others.
 
The story is a bit complicated not unlike our own lives which always seem to be rooted in the complex intricacies of relationship. Nothing is easy – not even scripture stories.
 
So Esau and Jacob, twins; born Esau first and then Jacob holding onto Esau’s heel: giving Esau the birthright to his father, Isaac’s blessing and estate.
 
This is a real problem for Jacob and his mother, Rebecca who preferred Jacob to his hunter brother, Esau. Looking for an opportunity to get what he wants, Jacob seizes the moment when Esau comes in famished after an unsuccessful hunt. Jacob offers Esau a bowlful of stew if he will give up his birthright. Esau agrees and eats up. On his death bed Isaac unknowingly blesses Jacob, who gets some cleaver help from Rebecca.
 
Needless to say, Esau is pretty angry when he comes for his father’s blessing and …it’s gone, vanished, given to his brother under false pretenses – so he threatens to kill Jacob after his father is dead.
 
Rebecca, always resourceful, comes up with a plan to ship Jacob off to the safety of her brother, Laban, in Mesopotamia.
 
Is this starting to sound like your family- I thought so!
 
While there, Jacob does really well for himself, working for his uncle, marrying two of his daughters, as well as, acquiring two concubines and begetting eleven sons and quite a few daughters.
 
So some twenty years later and after a bit of difficulty with his uncle and cousins, he decides to return home with wives, concubines, children, servants, slaves and herds of camels, goats, cows, donkeys and sheep.
 
His plan is interrupted when he learns that Esau is coming to meet him along with 400 men. So he divides up his servants and flocks and sends them on ahead, to greet Esau with supplications and presents. Finally, he sends his wives and children across the river with servants and slaves to wait for him, while he spends the night wrestling with God or an angel. In that encounter, he demands that God bless him saying to God “I will not let you go unless you bless me”
 
God or the angel then asks Jacob to reveal himself: asking his name and Jacob tells him the truth – maybe for the first time accepting for himself who he is and all he has done – accepting responsibility for his actions in his simple response: “Jacob”.
 
And then, God changes Jacob’s name, which means surrplants, or one who seizes, circumvents or usurps, to Israel – “wrestles with God”. Then God blesses him.
 
Esau continues on his journey meeting up with wives, servants and children and continuing on to meet Esau.
 
But this too is a strange encounter- Esau wants nothing except to be reconciled with his brother. He doesn’t need sheep or goats or servants – he just wants to embrace Jacob.
 
But Jacob- Jacob needs to ask for and receive the forgiveness of his brother, he needs to atone for his wrong doing- he needs Esau to accept his sheep and donkeys and whatever – and this is all years and years after the fact! It is as if he needs his brother’s forgiveness in order to forgive himself. It’s complicated!
 
We carry around all this stuff.
Hurtful words and actions!
Old hurts and grudges!
And when we think of them it is like they happened yesterday. They are like open wounds every time we get a peek into that Pandora’s box.
 
A name, a time, a place comes up and we are transported back to the event- a time when we were hurt, a time when we hurt others, a time when people or circumstances were unkind to us, a time when we were unkind to others – it doesn’t seem to matter who the perpetrator is – ourselves or others- we are the ones carrying it around.
 
Whatever we are carrying- the weight of injustice done, the horror of assault or violence, the anger or resentment that simmers below the surface, the darkness of suspicion, envy and pride – we have to figure out ways to start the process of dropping it. We have to figure out ways to forgive ourselves and forgive others if only for our own sake.
 
There are popular quotes or sayings that reiterate the importance of this process.
 
One likens resentment and anger to the picking up of a hot coal in order to throw it at some one who has wronged us and all the time we hold onto it – it is burning our hand.
 
Another makes the observation that holding onto these events is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
 
Another says that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself – it doesn’t change the past but it can change your future.
 
After Jacob reunited with his brother Esau, Esau expects that Jacob and his entourage will return home with him but Jacob says he will follow along to Edom slowly. But after Esau leaves and goes south to Edom, Jacob and his family go to Shechem in Canaan in the north where he buys land and sets up home.
 
It is as if his reconciliation with his brother freed him to go on and live his own life. As if his brother’s forgiveness allows him to forgive himself. A weight lifted, a burning coal dropped – freedom.
 
I don’t have a formula. I don’t have an answer as if one answer would suffice anyway. It’s not easy to forgive, and sometimes it is not easy to be forgiven.
 
Sometimes it takes longer than we can bear, sometimes we have to wrestle with God, sometimes we are blessed and changed, sometimes we find that we have been forgiven before we even ask – sometimes we find we have forgiven others long ago. But each Sunday when we recite the Lord’s prayer  “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”
 
we are reminded
 
that we all are human
that we all lack wholeness and perfection
that we are all broken
that we are all forgiven in Christ Jesus.
 
We are all called to be a blessing
As we have been blessed.
 
                                             Amen
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1 Comment
Rhoda Mae
19/7/2021 11:04:33 am

Thank You , this touched me today like no other❤️

Reply



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