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Forgiveness Again and Again

18/9/2022

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Ezekiel 11:14-21

14 The word of the Lord came to me: 15 “Son of man, the people of Jerusalem have said of your fellow exiles and all the other Israelites, ‘They are far away from the Lord; this land was given to us as our possession.’
16 “Therefore say: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Although I sent them far away among the nations and scattered them among the countries, yet for a little while I have been a sanctuary for them in the countries where they have gone.’
17 “Therefore say: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will gather you from the nations and bring you back from the countries where you have been scattered, and I will give you back the land of Israel again.’
18 “They will return to it and remove all its vile images and detestable idols. 19 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. 20 Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God. 21 But as for those whose hearts are devoted to their vile images and detestable idols, I will bring down on their own heads what they have done, declares the Sovereign Lord.”


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Reflection
 
Have you ever had those moments when you are just about to write a sermon on forgiveness and you say to yourself: “What do I know about forgiveness?”.
 
I mean, sure, I have forgiven people and people have forgiven me, sure, I have forgiven myself for some things and I hope that God has forgiven me for the many misdeeds and omissions too numerous to count. But what do I know about forgiveness. What do I really know about forgiveness.
 
So I decided to go to the experts; I visit with my Jewish buddies, or at least their writings. I find out that even though the atonement process: of seeking forgiveness by acknowledging, taking responsibility, apologizing and seeking to repent and atone and all before Yom Kippur, sounds really good on paper; in real life and when people are being honest: it doesn’t always work.
 
Turns out people don’t always want to forgive so: someone comes up to you after worship in the synagogue and says “I’m sorry that such and such happened and I was to blame, will you forgive me?” You might say “Of course” with your lips but in your heart, which is still hurt, and your life which is still scarred you want to scream: “Of course not, are you kidding. Go away. Stay away from me!”  But he or she has been your friend, you have been friends for years, you just finished worshipping together, forgiveness is the right thing to do, but…
 
I already knew this; so not such a big help.
 
I’m like most people, like the Jewish rabbi above, who knew he should forgive. His mind told him to forgive, his example of God’s loving forgiveness for his people time and time again set the example for him to forgive.
 
The person in front of him was asking for his forgiveness, but his ego (which we all have by the way) well, it just wanted to hold on a little bit longer to the hurt, to the righteousness of being hurt; of being the victim, of having that anger well up and he wasn’t quite ready to let it go. And his heart which would melt at the sight of any injustice, well, it was a heart of stone, for the moment anyway.
 
The rabbi, you, me, we have all noticed that sometimes forgiveness is hard, after all, hurt is painful, disappointment and fear, anger and resentment are powerful emotions that don’t stop just because we say the magic words “ I forgive you.”
 
Forgiveness is a process, it takes time, it takes practice and patience, it takes reflection and assessment.  I don’t know what else it takes but maybe faith.  
 
Faith that the God, who knows us through and through, also forgives us.  Faith that Jesus, who knew more about God than anyone else I know, also knew about forgiveness: forgiveness of sins, forgiveness of hurts, forgiveness of disappointment, forgiveness of promises broken. Jesus knew about the power of forgiveness and everybody benefitted.
 
If Jesus had a super power, it was the ability to forgive and move on. The stories are full of forgiveness. Think of the parables: The Prodigal Son,  The Rich Young Man, the healing of all kinds of people fro all kinds of ailments, the stories were the disciples didn’t quite get what kind of Messiah Jesus was; Jesus, who asks the disciples to pray with him in the Garden of Gethsemane and they fall asleep, Jesus betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter, doubted by Thomas – it’s all about forgiveness. 
 
Jesus, with his heart of love and compassion, was able to look beyond the action to the person, and if we follow his example we, too, may see that, perhaps, the act or words which have caused us so much pain, has also had an impact on the person who hurt us. If we can look beyond ourselves, maybe, we see a whole, flawed, imperfect person, and not just what they did or said. Maybe we see a person who needs to be forgiven. Maybe our hearts of love and compassion can respond to that person.
 
I am certainly not suggesting that forgiveness is forgetting. It isn’t. An assurance of pardon, a hundred “Hail Marys” as penance, money, restitution, working in a soup kitchen, taking a violence management course, attending AA meetings, going to jail, changing one’s life does not erase the act committed on the part of the transgressor. The act may be, very well, what we would call unforgivable, and perpetrators should be held accountable Forgiving isn’t saying the pain, resentment, fear, or anger never existed; rather it is a hope that all that emotional attachment to the situation can be let go of and be left behind, ensuring the knowledge and learning remain. 
 
There has to be a way for knowing and forgiveness to exist simultaneously. The memory, the event has to remain with us, because we need to be able to learn and grow from the situation. We need to be able to protect ourselves and have appropriate boundaries and that ego, I so easily bashed at the beginning for getting us into the mess, we need that ego so that we have the strength and courage to forge better, more honest relationships with those around us, to build better lives for ourselves.  
 
Of course, then we get to ask, so how long does this go on for?  Jesus says seventy times seven but I interpret that as: we are all human; so the transgressors and transgressions, the sins and the sinners, the debtors and debts, well, they just keep happening and piling up: so a whole life time – that’s a pretty big number or times when we are called to forgive.
 
To forgive ourselves, to forgive others, to learn and keep on learning, to soften our hearts each and every time it tries to turn to stone, to live with love and compassion for ourselves and others. That is where God is calling us, that is how Jesus showed us the way.
 
May it be so                   Amen
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