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I Know You

19/7/2020

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Psalm 139:1-18  (NRSV)
O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down,
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    O Lord, you know it completely.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is so high that I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from your spirit?
    Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there;
    if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
If I take the wings of the morning
    and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light around me become night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is as bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.
For it was you who formed my inward parts;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
    Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
    My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
    all the days that were formed for me,
    when none of them as yet existed.
How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
I try to count them—they are more than the sand;
    I come to the end—I am still with you.

Reflection

I love this psalm – it contains one of the greatest gifts we can be given – to be fully known and fully accepted. God knows us and accepts us just as we are. Not our projected self – you know the self that we want other people to believe we are; not even the self that others see and we are blissfully unaware of but the person we are: with all our complexity and with all our changing over time. 


This psalm sets us naked before God and God just goes – “Yes, I know you….and I love you…you are mine!” And once you are God’s you are bound by that love. You can run, you can hide, you can even die (and be in Sheol: the place of the dead) God is there with you.
You are not forgotten, you are not forsaken, you are not alone. The God who knows you before you are born knows you through and through. 


It is almost an unimaginable freedom to be both known and accepted because if anyone knows our failures and sadness and hardness of heart it’s us. We know when we haven’t measured up to even our own standards never mind those imposed by society, the church, the media, schools, work, our families...all those people and institutions that tell us who we are and who we should be. The mystery that is God dismisses it all and says “I know you, I have always known you and I will always know you”. 


The gift of that knowing is the freedom to be who we are and the freedom to change. Recent events including the deaths of George Floyd, Regis Korchinski-Paquet and Chantal Moore at the hand of people we trust to protect us have led me to reflect on my own views on racism. I always thought I knew enough about the lives of people, about Liberation Theology, about racism that I could just go along with my now set (in stone?) ideas and perceptions but I can’t - I realize there was and is something I wasn’t getting, something in me that was and is dismissive of the systemic and individual racism in our society. I don’t know where it will lead me but I am going to at least begin to educate myself (for me that means participating in a Black Theology Reading group focused on the writings of James Cone and others over a two month period). My hope and prayer is that indeed I will change, that I will grow more into the person God has “known” I will become. Well, maybe it doesn’t quite work that way but in the psalm we are reminded (verses 11-12) that there is no hiding from God: 
                        If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
                        and the light around me become night,”
                        even the darkness is not dark to you;
                        the night is as bright as the day for darkness is 
                        as light to you.”


It seems to me that this “knowing” is a real blessing for us because there is no out, there are no excuses, there is just opportunity.  With God we are accepted for who we are right now. With God there are no explanations needed. With God our joys and our hurts and our sorrows are known. With God all our longings and shortcoming and gifts don’t have to be expressed. With God there is breathing room and space and time for us to grow in our faith, and into our true selves. The hymn below is one of my favourites and it expresses in a different way the uniqueness of our relationship with God. God has given us a name and with that name we are known to God, in all that we are and all that we may become, we are loved and accepted by God. 


I Have Called You By Your Name (More Voices #161)
I have called you by your name, you are mine;
I have gifted you and ask you now to shine.
I will not abandon you; all my promises are true. 
You are gifted, called, and chosen; you are mine. 


Prayer
Holy God, how wondrous is your creation;
That you would hold us so tenderly 
in the palm of your hand.
That you would know us 
And still be willing to stay with us through it all,
Whatever that “all” is – you are with us.
We are not alone. 
Help us to celebrate with joy 
your presence in our lives 
and in the lives of others.
May we be blessed to be a blessing to others. 
                    Amen
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