A Meditation of Candles – Memorial Service for Brian Oudot – May 28, 2016
There is a mysterious power that animates every living thing, a Mysterious power that sustains what we call Life. We do not know where we come from when we are born. We do not know where we go to when we die. But we do know the life we live between the two eternities of being born and having to die.
Between these two eternities is our world – our life.
Some of us call the Source of Life, this Mysterious Power, God. Some of us prefer another name:
Eternal Being, or Creative Force, or Spirit of Life, or perhaps simply, Love. Some of us do not know what to call this Mysterious Power, for all names seem somehow inadequate.
Yet we feel this Mysterious Power at the center of our unique beings. We experience it thru the changes of our individual lives. We see and sense it at work in the life and in the changes of every other living thing.
Like a flame passing from candle to candle, this Mysterious Power passes from being to being and from generation to generation. This Mysterious Power is the Unity of the whole of creation – past, present, and future.
There is a Mysterious Power that animates every living thing, a Mysterious Power that sustains Life thru the unending cycle of the generations.
In honour of this Mysterious Power we might call God or Holy Mystery, we light a candle.
Candle of Memory (Light Life candle)
From this first candle we light a candle in memory of Brian’s life. Let this flame symbolize all human life as well as Life. It is a fragile flame, and it can be extinguished by the vagaries of a gust of air – one of the guises of fate. But even if fate does not end a life unexpectedly, the burning flame will eventually consume the candle. A candle has its allotted span to burn. (So a human life has its allotted span of years to live.) Yet while it burns – for a short span or a long span of time – it radiates light and heat. And flame kindles flame; life begets life. The glow and heat, the passion of life, are passed on; so long after the candle is extinguished or consumed, the fire of life and love still burns. A human life also continues in the lives it has both engendered and influenced.
Stare at the flame, then look away or close your eyes. As the eye remembers the light, so the mind remembers a person who has died.
Though the flame of Brian’s life has been extinguished, our memory’s eye still sees the person; and our mind remembers the power of his personality – how Brian walked thru his time and world; how his life touched each of us and shaped our lives.
In remembrance and in honour of Brian Oudot, we shall light our other candles in this memorial service from the candle we have lighted for him.
Candle of Community (light candle)
We light this candle to signify the community we create.
It is good to be together as such a time as this. We need one another in our grief and in our love. The deep loss of death and the accompanying emotion of grief are best comforted by our fellow women and men. Friendly faces, kindly touches, warm embraces, halting words, or no words at all convey shared feelings or empathy.
We also seek together a meaning in which all things are comprehended. Death has a strange way of sorting out the essentials of life and living, and we see clearly, though thru our tears, what really matters. Family and the extended family that includes friends are things that really matter.
It is good, right, and fitting in the face of death that we have come together today:
-to remember the person that Brian was
-to mourn his death while honouring his life
-to seek a meaning in which all things are comprehended
-to find each other to receive comfort, and to give comfort as each is able.
Candle of Grief (light a candle)
We light this candle to acknowledge those who loved Brian the most, and feel his death most strongly.
We pray that you receive the healing gifts of courage, wisdom, and thanksgiving: courage to accept the reality of Brian’s death; wisdom to understand that life and death, joy and sorrow are joined; and thanksgiving to honour the life that was Brian’s journey.
Candle of Joy (light candle)
We light this candle to signify that our joy and our sorrow are one. We cannot deny the grief that death brings. We must let it spill from our hearts. We must let our sorrow have its time, because our joy has had its time.
It is because we knew and loved Brian, that we feel such sorrow for his death. Our joy came first. Because of the joy, we feel such sorrow now. Though that sorrow is strongest just now, there will be a new day, when once again we will know joy, and we will remember Brian with joy.
Candle for the Mystery of Life and Death (light candle)
We light this candle to honour the mystery of Life. William Shakespeare wrote: “We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our life is rounded with a sleep.” In awe and wonder our thoughts leap from understanding to understanding about a human life and the double mystery of where we come from when we are born, and where we go when we die.
This is the time to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and find the quiet center within you.
This is the time: -to gather our individual feelings and thoughts
-to reflect on the meaning of this occasion
-to offer a private and final farewell
-to offer a prayer
-to remember the person: the child, the youth, the man, that Brian was, and to acknowledge how he lives on in us.
We enter a short time of silent reflection.
Eulogy
Family Remembrances (light a tea candle)
Candle of Thanksgiving (light a candle)
We light this candle in Thanksgiving.
We are thankful for the gifts of Life even tho our individual lives are “rounded by a sleep”.
We are grateful for Brian’s life, for his gifts of life, and for the ways he has touched or influenced us.
We are thankful that time lessens and memories heal the grief we all feel at death, bringing ever deeper understandings and a more loving acceptance of the one who has died.
We are thankful for the comfort we give one another, which has grown among us this hour.
We are thankful that Life continues, passing from generation to generation.
We are thankful for the love that never dies. We believe it is true that “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
Candle of Love (light candle)
And so we light a final candle for Love:
-the love we have for Life and it Mysterious but Sure Source, which many of us name God.
-the love that Brian had for his family and friends
-the love we have for Brian
-the love that has brought us together today.
In the spirit of this love we say our “goodbye” to Brian, to Dad, to Poppa, to our brother, our friend.
Closing Words and Benediction
Please rise as you are able so we may stand together as we conclude this service of remembrance and celebration for the life of Brian Oudot.
Extinguish Brian candle only.
There is a mysterious power that animates every living thing, a Mysterious power that sustains what we call Life. We do not know where we come from when we are born. We do not know where we go to when we die. But we do know the life we live between the two eternities of being born and having to die.
Between these two eternities is our world – our life.
Some of us call the Source of Life, this Mysterious Power, God. Some of us prefer another name:
Eternal Being, or Creative Force, or Spirit of Life, or perhaps simply, Love. Some of us do not know what to call this Mysterious Power, for all names seem somehow inadequate.
Yet we feel this Mysterious Power at the center of our unique beings. We experience it thru the changes of our individual lives. We see and sense it at work in the life and in the changes of every other living thing.
Like a flame passing from candle to candle, this Mysterious Power passes from being to being and from generation to generation. This Mysterious Power is the Unity of the whole of creation – past, present, and future.
There is a Mysterious Power that animates every living thing, a Mysterious Power that sustains Life thru the unending cycle of the generations.
In honour of this Mysterious Power we might call God or Holy Mystery, we light a candle.
Candle of Memory (Light Life candle)
From this first candle we light a candle in memory of Brian’s life. Let this flame symbolize all human life as well as Life. It is a fragile flame, and it can be extinguished by the vagaries of a gust of air – one of the guises of fate. But even if fate does not end a life unexpectedly, the burning flame will eventually consume the candle. A candle has its allotted span to burn. (So a human life has its allotted span of years to live.) Yet while it burns – for a short span or a long span of time – it radiates light and heat. And flame kindles flame; life begets life. The glow and heat, the passion of life, are passed on; so long after the candle is extinguished or consumed, the fire of life and love still burns. A human life also continues in the lives it has both engendered and influenced.
Stare at the flame, then look away or close your eyes. As the eye remembers the light, so the mind remembers a person who has died.
Though the flame of Brian’s life has been extinguished, our memory’s eye still sees the person; and our mind remembers the power of his personality – how Brian walked thru his time and world; how his life touched each of us and shaped our lives.
In remembrance and in honour of Brian Oudot, we shall light our other candles in this memorial service from the candle we have lighted for him.
Candle of Community (light candle)
We light this candle to signify the community we create.
It is good to be together as such a time as this. We need one another in our grief and in our love. The deep loss of death and the accompanying emotion of grief are best comforted by our fellow women and men. Friendly faces, kindly touches, warm embraces, halting words, or no words at all convey shared feelings or empathy.
We also seek together a meaning in which all things are comprehended. Death has a strange way of sorting out the essentials of life and living, and we see clearly, though thru our tears, what really matters. Family and the extended family that includes friends are things that really matter.
It is good, right, and fitting in the face of death that we have come together today:
-to remember the person that Brian was
-to mourn his death while honouring his life
-to seek a meaning in which all things are comprehended
-to find each other to receive comfort, and to give comfort as each is able.
Candle of Grief (light a candle)
We light this candle to acknowledge those who loved Brian the most, and feel his death most strongly.
We pray that you receive the healing gifts of courage, wisdom, and thanksgiving: courage to accept the reality of Brian’s death; wisdom to understand that life and death, joy and sorrow are joined; and thanksgiving to honour the life that was Brian’s journey.
Candle of Joy (light candle)
We light this candle to signify that our joy and our sorrow are one. We cannot deny the grief that death brings. We must let it spill from our hearts. We must let our sorrow have its time, because our joy has had its time.
It is because we knew and loved Brian, that we feel such sorrow for his death. Our joy came first. Because of the joy, we feel such sorrow now. Though that sorrow is strongest just now, there will be a new day, when once again we will know joy, and we will remember Brian with joy.
Candle for the Mystery of Life and Death (light candle)
We light this candle to honour the mystery of Life. William Shakespeare wrote: “We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our life is rounded with a sleep.” In awe and wonder our thoughts leap from understanding to understanding about a human life and the double mystery of where we come from when we are born, and where we go when we die.
This is the time to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and find the quiet center within you.
This is the time: -to gather our individual feelings and thoughts
-to reflect on the meaning of this occasion
-to offer a private and final farewell
-to offer a prayer
-to remember the person: the child, the youth, the man, that Brian was, and to acknowledge how he lives on in us.
We enter a short time of silent reflection.
Eulogy
Family Remembrances (light a tea candle)
Candle of Thanksgiving (light a candle)
We light this candle in Thanksgiving.
We are thankful for the gifts of Life even tho our individual lives are “rounded by a sleep”.
We are grateful for Brian’s life, for his gifts of life, and for the ways he has touched or influenced us.
We are thankful that time lessens and memories heal the grief we all feel at death, bringing ever deeper understandings and a more loving acceptance of the one who has died.
We are thankful for the comfort we give one another, which has grown among us this hour.
We are thankful that Life continues, passing from generation to generation.
We are thankful for the love that never dies. We believe it is true that “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
Candle of Love (light candle)
And so we light a final candle for Love:
-the love we have for Life and it Mysterious but Sure Source, which many of us name God.
-the love that Brian had for his family and friends
-the love we have for Brian
-the love that has brought us together today.
In the spirit of this love we say our “goodbye” to Brian, to Dad, to Poppa, to our brother, our friend.
Closing Words and Benediction
Please rise as you are able so we may stand together as we conclude this service of remembrance and celebration for the life of Brian Oudot.
Extinguish Brian candle only.
